Making Mayo Makes It Better

I’m not one to suggest people must see things as I do, such as love the feel of warm compost on the softest part of the hand, or love the folkiest of music. To make grand statements gesturing that others should land in the same sentiments as I land is presumptuous, if not risky. After all, it only makes sense that different shoes taking different steps lead to different outcomes. That being said, forgive this one presumptuous and slippery thought- you and everyone you know needs to make mayonnaise.

There, I’ve said it, my inner and true thoughts. I think that it is a great loss to any individual who never makes homemade mayonnaise in his or her lifetime. The anticipated moment when the mixture transforms from oily to silky is a segment of time when all is beautiful, regardless of war and weather. The moment makes you feel like a kid who’s experiment finally just proved itself- the kid knows it is good. Just after that moment where the whisking leads to the smooth texture of subtle yellow, lip smacking wonder, you spread the goo on freshly toasted, slightly steamy bread. Voila, you have a delicious version of something you once thought you had to buy from a stranger, a mass producer.



So round up your partner, neighbor, spouse, housemate, sister and make yourselves some mayonnaise. Whisk some egg yolks together, and remember that the fresher, more local, more organic the egg the more scrumptious the whole endeavor. Mix those eggs with one or tablespoons of vinegar or lemon juice, some salt and some pepper. Whisk, whisk, whisk. This is where a friend comes in handy: One person whisking and one slowly dripping oil into the mixture. You’ll drip up to about 1/3 cup of oil into the whole thing before it really starts to solidify and strengthen, and then slowly drizzle the remaining 2/3 cup of the oil while continuing to whisk steadily. You and your partner together will beam with the beauty of this yellow French concoction. After you are fully satisfied with the whisking you can add Dijon mustard, yogurt, salt, pepper, etc to eternity. This condiment just keeps on giving! It’s so easy, so exciting, and so not necessary to buy from a big producer in a big jar with a big lid. Good luck. Everyone should learn to make mayonnaise with a friend and then eat some stacked BLT’s. It will make this endless winter a little more bearable.